I Thought This Would Be Easier
rating: +3+x

Scene I

Darkness. A light, poppy jazz theme plays over the speakers, as “I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE EASIER” is projected onto the back of the stage in yellow letters, barely illuminating a box set. The box set is angled to the right, slightly away from the audience.

As the song comes to a close, a center stage light fades on, revealing the details of the box set.

It has three walls covered in peeling green wallpaper over gray bricks, a moldy blue carpet, two windows with red curtains drawn shut, and between them, HARPER, sitting silent and still on a pink couch. An unplugged dial phone sits beside them.

To the right of HARPER is a white door. Its paint is flaking, revealing the dull brown underneath. The doorknob jostles, then slowly turns inwards, before the door pops open. As if hesitating, it begins to shut again, then slowly swings open, revealing FINLEY. Canned cheering plays as they both stand in silence.

FINLEY

Honey, I’m home!

FINLEY steps into the room.

HARPER

I heard the words and I knew her heart was in love. This was what she wanted. Her heart and her soul and she was going to get it, but what he wanted was so much more. And she would have it if she had to. All the tears that she'd shed, her tears she'd cried, would never come from her eyes again. But she got her wish. It was her, their heart. A very small, very special, heart that gave them: (pointingly) “Kathleen, you can.”

FINLEY

(flinching, hurt) Finley—

HARPER

—We need rain. We need water. To drink. So we can eat. To cook. Or clean ourselves. But now (pause) you're going to stop it. You’re going to put out fires.

FINLEY

Even then, it is unlikely to return. By the time I finally get around to that, I know it won’t matter. I’ll have given them all to the thing in the mirror.

Canned laughter.

FINLEY

(quickly) If it were to get them.

Further canned laughter.

HARPER

(dismissively) I don't think I've ever had the mental capacity to fully appreciate something until I'm able to relate it to something else.

FINLEY

As it is. After work, we went to the Fleet Feet store and I got fitted for a new pair of running shoes. I've decided to run my own experiment.

HARPER

This system is even more interesting, because the owners just dropped it. From the news I gather it’s working on a three-door compact with a swing-down door.

FINLEY

Deco mirage, or a square one?

HARPER

(slowly) A three-door compact. With a swing-down door.

FINLEY

(quietly) Oh.

Canned laughter. FINLEY closes the door behind them, and slowly walks over to stand behind the couch.

HARPER

My mother always said that a razor is a fool’s implement, that children should love.

FINLEY

Better than anyone gives, better than anyone knows, better than anyone can, but what matters is the meanness of those around them, and—

HARPER turns their head to stare at FINLEY.

FINLEY (cont.)

(pause, deep sigh) That doesn’t… it’s not right.

Canned laughter. HARPER turns away.

HARPER

It brings me no joy.

FINLEY

But it’s sparking. It’s sparking.

HARPER

Instead of becoming morose and solemn, return to bed, sit quietly, and sooth yourself in your hands. Your lack of self-assurance is a sign of humility.

Canned laughter. The phone beside HARPER begins to ring, and FINLEY sighs. As HARPER fumbles to pick it up, FINLEY quietly goes to the door and steps outside; canned applause and whooping play.

Once FINLEY is outside, muffled ringing is heard. HARPER stares into the audience silently, until a click plays. HARPER straightens, as if coming out of a trance.

HARPER

What happened to you?

FINLEY

(muffled) I have known you through this long winter, as much as I could. The young man with the black eye patch over his left eye walks with me now. His name is Luke. His parents took him in many years ago when they were starving and homeless. They bought him new clothes and he walks with me now.

HARPER

Hello, dear.

FINLEY

Hello, guardian. I didn’t.

HARPER

(testingly) Sure? You’re not a fire. Goodbye.

FINLEY

Goodbye.

HARPER picks a TV remote from between the cushions of the couch; it is visibly slimy. They absent-mindedly click buttons, and snippets of conversation play over the speakers. Slowly, the volume lowers; with it, the lights go down. A spotlight shines on FINLEY as they peak their head back through the doorway.

FINLEY

Do you see? I thought I had lost you. Let me be a minute. This will take a second. But come see me in a minute, okay? And so the name is found again by that other theme, yet going the other way, and so again being renewed. This last scene, the picture seems to be all about…

… the spark of love, in the guise of revenge, that brings us to the threshold of the unknown, and that is worth all the rest of the things in the world. Who would be like that heartless one who would crush the one they loved under the same curse, just because they were a mere pawn, who to them were the only things worth living for?

A spotlight shines down on HARPER, then fades.

FINLEY

I hope for that better future of them and the kids.

They rip a phone off the unseen outer wall of the box set; it is identical to the one beside HARPER. They stuff it under their shirt as the stage lights come back on. Canned laughter plays. FINLEY enters the room, silently closing the door behind them, and walks into the dark of the stage. They disappear (R.), and a spotlight comes down on HARPER, who places the phone back on the handle.

HARPER

I had a date last night. As I have gotten older, I feel as if I have more to do. Now I'm pushing a stroller and I think my child is the most important thing in my life. I press the button at the bottom of the stroller to make its two wheels move side to side, and then I press another button to make the rear wheels move side to side as well, so the stroller turns around in circles.

It's just hard for me not to forget them. But lately these small neglected things have become increasingly important. And if I seem distracted, that is partly because my circumstances have changed and in some ways require an increased amount of concentrated attention. It keeps buzzing, so I have to do this.

They absent-mindedly scroll through channels. Snippets of conversation, music, explosions and yelling can be heard.

HARPER (cont.)

Yes, it is very sad, but it was inevitable. I am excited for my kids to find the joy that I had, although they'll probably find it in their own way.

A spotlight shines down on FINLEY, who is pantomiming preparing dinner (R.), outside the box set. The stage lights die soon after; clinking of silverware and loud slurping slowly become audible.

The stage lights return, and FINLEY is standing behind HARPER, who continues to sit on the couch. Canned whooping and applause.

FINLEY

I don’t know. Better than anyone gives, better than anyone knows, better than anyone can, but what matters is the meanness of those around them. It’s not even plugged in.

Canned laughter.

HARPER

Yes, it is very sad, but it was inevitable. I don’t think you have the mental capacity to fully appreciate something.

FINLEY

Sure.

HARPER

(confused and annoyed) Now why’d they go and do that?

FINLEY nods glumly. Canned laughter.

FINLEY

I was wrong to do so; I will see them once more. But until that time, I can’t believe it.

HARPER

Nothing’s plugged in.

FINLEY

By the time I finally get around to that, I know it won’t matter. I’ll have given them all to the thing in the mirror.

FINLEY turns away, and parts the red curtains of the right “window.” Behind the curtains is a mirror, which they stare into.

HARPER

So you drop the square one. Like that?

FINLEY

You said I had to keep the rain water raining.

HARPER

(distressed) The TV is buzzing again! (pleading) Finley, you will make me dinner again.

FINLEY

(solemnly) I wish they’d visit.

Uproarious laughter erupts from the speakers, even drowning out the sounds of the TV. HARPER finally puts down the slimy TV remote, assuming the pose they held when the play first began. FINLEY steps away from the mirror, closing the curtains, and stands behind the couch.

FINLEY

This last scene, the picture seems to be all about…

Cheering and whooping play.

FINLEY (cont.)

… I thought this would be easier. Goodbye, honey.

HARPER turns away and rapidly dials the telephone. Muffled ringing is heard under FINLEY’s shirt, but they do not answer. HARPER fumbles as they put the phone back down, followed by canned laughter and cheering.

FINLEY approaches the door, opening it slowly. They step through the doorway. The door closes, then, as if hesitating, opens slightly, then closes again. HARPER sits alone.

The stage lights begin to go out, until the stage is entirely dark. The earlier jazz song begins to play again, as yellow credits are projected onto the back of the stage. The music draws to a close, and the credits dissipate.

End of Scene

rating: +3+x
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