Item #: SCP-C039

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-C039 may be kept in any standard storage locker when not being tested.

Description: SCP-C039 is a ball of weaving thread 4.5cm in diameter. SCP-C039 has several properties that a ball of thread normally cannot have:

  • SCP-C039 is a janitor.
  • SCP-C039 wears glasses.
  • SCP-C039 is very flirtatious.
  • SCP-C039 has dyed red hair.
  • SCP-C039 is afraid of heights.
  • SCP-C039 is attracted to women.
  • SCP-C039 has been married twice.
  • SCP-C039 is disgusted by anal sex.
  • SCP-C039 is financially independent.
  • SCP-C039 is a competent public speaker.
  • SCP-C039 is on good terms with its mother.
  • SCP-C039 is confident in its athletic abilities.

Note that SCP-C039 has no unusual properties besides these, including those that would normally be prerequisites for the stated anomalies. For example, SCP-C039 has no hair, despite having dyed red hair. Likewise, it is not sentient whatsoever, despite having characteristics normally found only in sentient beings. This suggests that SCP-C039's anomalous properties are loosely attached to it, rather than being intrinsic to it.

rating: +4+x
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