SCP-C416

Item #: SCP-C416

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Samples of a solution of three parts water and one part SCP-C416 are kept in Chemical Wing Q-9, and may be used for testing with permission from Level 3 personnel and up. Care should be taken to ensure that the solution is not ingested. Agents of Specialized Task Force Upsilon-9 ("The Whole Squad") are embedded in civilian biochemical research facilities in order to detect and disrupt the independent discovery and isolation of SCP-C416.

Academic journals pertaining to chemistry are to be monitored for mentions of “Funny”.

Description: SCP-C416 is an chemical compound consisting of arsenic, tellurium, iodine, and osmium. It is a liquid at room temperature; a detailed analysis of SCP-C416's chemical properties can be accessed in Appendix C416-A. When the compound is present in an object or living thing, human observers will perceive it as possessing humorous value above the level expected for the inherent qualities of said object or living thing. This effect scales directly with the amount of SCP-C416 present in the chemical makeup. SCP-C416 in its pure form is unsafe for direct human exposure, often resulting in laughter-induced cataplexy.

Any human aware of SCP-C416 will consistently identify its formal chemical name as the English word "Funny", despite the deviation from standard chemical nomenclature. It is unknown whether this is a semantic or memetic anomaly.

The causal relationship between SCP-C416 and the concept of humor is currently under investigation. Objects and living things not naturally possessing SCP-C416 in their chemical makeup have been found to possess subjective humorous value; however, all subjects affected by SCP-C416 in concentrations greater than 500 ppm are considered universally, objectively humorous. Notably, oral consumption of SCP-C416 in concentrations above 500 ppm is toxic to humans and invariably fatal.

SCP-C416, despite the impossibility of its precise chemical makeup occurring naturally, is present in trace amounts in nature. Additionally, consumer products manufactured without the use of SCP-C416 as a raw material have been found to contain SCP-C416 in their marketed form. An incomplete list of items found to possess SCP-C416 as an inherent aspect of their chemical makeup has been compiled below. Research into the process by which SCP-C416 appears in these items, as well as possible correlation between them, is ongoing.

Item Amount of SCP-C416 present
Uncooked chicken eggs 1.24 ppm
Topsoil samples collected from the state of Ohio 0.74 ppm to 2.09 ppm
Apes (Hominoidea) 10.97 ppm
Kosher dill pickled cucumbers 15.04 ppm
Glue 17.91 ppm
Bodily secretions of American actor and screenwriter Ray Romano 21.13 ppm
Mayonnaise 34.28 ppm
The consumer water displacement spray product “WD-40” 52.37 ppm
"Male enhancement" pseudopharmaceuticals 74.92 ppm
Any snack food produced in Great Britain 94.97 ppm
Figs (Ficus carica) 104.57 ppm
Proprietary sealant used in the manufacture of the PlayStation 3 console 128.68 ppm
Peanut (Arachis hypogaea) shells 241.73 ppm1
All left shoes 328.39 ppm
Nitrous oxide 487.04 ppm
Bodily secretions of Junior Researcher Estelle Isle 740.14 ppm

Testing has determined that Junior Researcher Isle is the only employee of the Foundation naturally possessing SCP-C416. No ill effects have been observed from the presence of SCP-C416 in their body. They have been ordered to self-quarantine and avoid dining in the Site-15 cafeteria until it is determined that their presence does not pose a risk of sitewide Funny contamination.

rating: +2+x
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