SCP-C500

Item #: SCP-C500

Object Class: O5 Purview

Special Containment Procedures: Any documents that qualify as special containment procedures — through explicit designation as such, metadata, or general instructive tone — that come into the Foundation's possession are vetted by the Records and Information Security Administration. RAISA will flag procedures of unknown provenance or utility as candidates for SCP-C500.

All candidates for SCP-C500 will be submitted to the Containment Standards Committee, who will ensure that the procedures follow best containment practices. They will then be submitted to the Ethics Committee, who will ensure that the procedures comply with Foundation ethical guidelines. Finally, they will be submitted to the O5 Council, who will make any adjustments deemed necessary and decide whether they will be listed as instances of SCP-C500.

All instances of SCP-C500 are to be followed as though they were normal containment procedures. Personnel charged with implementing SCP-C500 should be told that their job function is well-understood and essential.

Instances of SCP-C500 that are exceedingly risky and/or resource-intensive fall under the purview of Special Task Force C500, who will further investigate the procedures to determine whether they truly need to be carried out.

Description: SCP-C500 is the collective designation for all containment procedures that the Foundation cannot account for, but nevertheless performs. Currently, SCP-C500 consists of 1,512 distinct containment procedures that are not linked to any known anomaly and serve no apparent purpose.

Usually, one or more of the following scenarios accounts for any given instance of SCP-C500:

  • The procedures apply to an SCP that cannot or should not be documented.
  • All individuals who know/knew the purpose of the procedures are unavailable for comment.
  • A technical, clerical, temporal, or ontological error removed context for the procedures.
  • The context has been withheld from the O5 Council, legitimately or otherwise.
  • The procedures were written as a hoax.

Unless there is compelling evidence to the contrary, all containment procedures created by Foundation personnel are treated as legitimate. As a consequence, the Foundation engages in an unknown number of unnecessary or malformed containment practices under the auspices of SCP-C500. However, as this policy provides an important safeguard against infohazardous, antimemetic, or otherwise undocumented anomalies, the potential waste of resources is tolerated.

Addendum: Sample instances of SCP-C500.

Designation: SCP-C500-155
Source: Instruction received by Site-04's director from a valid, but unassigned, Foundation email address.
Content:

Jean,

I know this has mostly been settled, but I'm going to put it in writing, for your records:

Do not examine, open, or break any sealed containment cells located at Site-04 for any reason. If they start getting in the way, you can change the site's layout, as long as you don't move them.

Shouldn't be too hard, right? Now, go wipe your memory of this whole ordeal. Since I'm a Foundation employee, the brass will sign off on these directions until they can think up a reason not to.

Don't fuck this up,
- N/A

Note: The number of sealed containment cells at Site-04 has remained constant. Site-04 has since been expanded to accommodate them.

Designation: SCP-C500-394
Source: Site-83's database. Context lost due to infohazard contamination.
Content:

Special Containment Procedures: Each day, no less than eight hours of pornographic video are to be retrieved from the internet, altered to include a grandfather clock somewhere in each scene, and stored at Site-83 indefinitely. Specifically, [DATA CORRUPT]. The time displayed on the clock must be internally consistent and plausible in the context of the video; additionally, appropriate [DATA CORRUPT] must be included at each 15-minute mark. Neural Network C-L-K-7553-SMSNS performs these tasks automatically; if it malfunctions, personnel must identify the affected video(s) and fix the errors manually. Failure [DATA CORRUPT]

[DATA CORRUPT], any proposed legislation that pertains to the creation of pornography must be monitored for unusual content. Any such content is to be removed and its creator(s) amnesticized.

Note: The nature of the corrupted data has been inferred where possible and disregarded otherwise.

Designation: SCP-C500-500
Source: Found in Site-02 ████████████ Department; no personnel could account for its presence.
Content:

Spontaneous pattern annihilation has not been observed in reality.
Spontaneous pattern annihilation will not be of service to VIPs.
Spontaneous pattern annihilation cannot approximate a fruit.
Spontaneous pattern annihilation is not sufficient for containment.
Ergo:
Spontaneous pattern annihilation warrants no further research.
NIHIL warrants an Atlas-class noetic isolation chamber.

Note: Under review by Special Task Force C500.

Designation: SCP-C500-716
Source: MTF Epsilon-6, "Village Idiots", following a containment event in Bingara, Australia.
Content:

Special Containment Procedures: Containment Chamber #3942, located at Site-39, must be kept structurally sound at all times. Any damage to the containment chamber must be repaired immediately. Containment Chamber #3942 must always be kept within the area of effect of at least two active Scranton Reality Anchors. No personnel are to enter Containment Chamber #3942 without prior approval from at least three on-site personnel with Level 4 or higher clearance.

A minimum of four cooked trout must be deposited into Containment Chamber #3942 at least three times each day. Test subjects or personnel entering Containment Chamber #3942 are encouraged to deposit additional servings of trout, if able.

Note: For further information, see INVALID LINK

Designation: SCP-C500-732
Source: None — SCP-C500-732 was subject to total causal severance, and thus no past or future events have any bearing on its existence or content.
Content:

You will want to ensure that the entire O5 Council is present for their daily briefing on June 1st 2032. [IRRELEVANT DATA REMOVED] It will be highly educational.

Note: Causally severed documents are typically rejected for classification as SCP-C500. An exception was made in this case due to extenuating circumstances, and it should not be taken as precedent.

Designation: SCP-C500-845
Source: A hand-written document on the desk of Dr. Stella Malone (Site-36 Medical Dept.), following her mental breakdown and death from unknown causes.
Content:

Containment Procedures: My corpse.

  1. Do not perform an autopsy.
  2. Do not perform any kind of X-ray, MRI, etc.
  3. Do not open my mouth.
  4. Do not open my eyes.
  5. Do not take any pictures of me.
  6. If you dream about doing any of these to me, die and become containment.

Bury me in a mausoleum and seal it shut.

Note: None.

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